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Dating and the Law of Attraction
A homo between fenius people who trust not only themselves, but each other, is a homo of homo. Insecure people tend to hide behind facades of pretend confidence.
Emotional Balance Happiness researcher Robert Biswas-Diener wrote a piece in Datingg Today explaining those with higher than average IQs experience less emotional ups and downs throughout their lifetimes than those lower on the intelligence scale. In a relationship, this means less drama and more reason when it comes to disagreements. The Negative Side There's no doubt that there are areas in which you and your genius differ. These differences will show up in your significant other as common tendencies that may serve them in their careers or in academics but can cause conflict in a relationship. Over-Analyzing Intelligent people are thinkers by nature, so when it comes to sorting out problems, they seek to understand it logically.
This may mean skipping the feelings talk and moving straight to a solution or working so hard to figure out why something happened they get stuck in analysis-mode.
Yet, as most folks know, relationships revolve around the heart, where emotions rule. Because of this, geniuses may be genisu one of a few ways. Cold and uncaring Judgmental Arrogant Try Dting Dating genius your genius doesn't act this way maliciously. He or she simply has a hard time understanding how the average person gwnius and feels. Play to Your Combined Strengths One study from Yale and Genis of New Hampshire showed couples with one partner grnius in emotional intelligence EI rated themselves higher on life satisfaction than those who had two people with high EI.
They concluded perhaps it was helpful for one person to take the lead in conflict and communication. Left untreated, this condition can go on for decades. I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still haven't figured out how to create an intimate connection with another human being. It's because they've been going at it the wrong way. Which brings us to Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements. For most of their lives, smart people inhabit a seemingly-meritocratic universe: If they work hard, they get good results or, in the case of really smart folks, even if they don't work hard, they still get good results. Good results mean kudos, strokes, positive reinforcement, respect from peers, love from parents.
So it only makes sense that in the romantic arena, it should work the same way.
The more stuff I do, the more accomplishments and awards I have, the more girls Dating genius boys will like me. Please say I'm right, because I've spent a LOT of time and energy accumulating this mental jewelry, and I'm going to be really bummed if you tell me it's not going to get me laid. Well, it's Dating genius going to get you laid, brother or sister. It may get you a first date, but it's probably not going to get you a second date. And it Dating genius won't bring you lasting love and fulfillment. Your romantic success has nothing to do with your mental jewelry and everything to do with how you make the other person feel. And making someone feel a certain way is a somewhat nonlinear process that requires a different kind of mastery than that of calculus or Shakespeare.
In other words, you need to earn love or at least lust. Sadly, no mom, dad or professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment or put-downgiving attention but not too much attention, being caring without being needy. I wrote a whole page book about that, so that's a story for a different day. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being and therefore don't act like one. At some point in your life, you got pegged as a smart person. From then on, that was your principal identity: Especially if you had a sibling who was better looking than you, in which case she or he was The Pretty One.
Now you could be absolutely stunning in which case you're both smart AND pretty and everyone hates you except for me -- call me, like, immediatelybut your identity is still bound up in being The Smart One. So maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance. Or never bothered to cultivate your sensuality as a woman. Or your sexual aggression as a male. Attracting a partner is all about the dance of polarity. Energy flows between positive and negative electrodes, anode and cathode, magnetic north and south. Unless you actually convey femininity as a woman or masculinity as a man, you're not going to attract a suitable companion of the opposite sex. Part of the issue is this: When all of your personal energy is concentrated in the head, it never gets a chance to trickle down to the heart, or, god forbid, the groin.
By virtue of being born of the union of male and female, yang and yin, you are a sexual being. Now do what you need to do to perpetuate the race already. Maybe they can help us figure out how spiritual attraction works. It seems as if intelligence can have an adverse affect on spiritual attractiveness. This is how I imagine the spiritual attractiveness curve would look like if someone was able to plot it against intelligence on a graph. At the very lowest levels of intelligence, attractiveness is also low for obvious reasons. A person needs a basic level of cognitive ability before the opposite sex will consider him.
The first peak of attractiveness on my chart is at a relatively low level of intelligence. At this level, a person is smart enough to function in society, but not so smart that he questions himself. I imagine that spiritual attractiveness starts to diminish as intelligence increases past this first level.
The more intelligent a person is, the more he overanalyzes himself to the point of killing his confidence. In my model, the most attractive people of all are also the most intelligent. This is because I believe that a person has the ability to figure out where he went wrong and increase his spiritual attractiveness. When I first started trying to meet girls, it seemed like Dating genius could never win the heart of the one I went after. There was a direct correlation between how hard I tried and how miserably I failed. How many times have you Dating genius the same old story of a girl who keeps going back to her jerk of an ex-boyfriend? Mike, played by John Favreau, is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend through most of the movie.
He constantly checks his messages to see if she called. His friends finally coax him to try to loosen up and see what else is out there. At the climax of the movie, he learns to relax enough to have a really great time with another girl. During long droughts without the possibility of a date, I thought that I would never find anyone. Then, out of nowhere there would be two or three girls interested. Why did this happen? For some reason, people in relationships seem to be more attractive. When you get into a relationship and stop dating, all of a sudden everyone wants to date you.
When I worked as a bartender, some of the cocktail waitresses I worked with wore fake wedding rings hoping to fend off predatory men, but instead, it only increased unwanted approaches. I would recommend this movie to anyone who wants to get a better understanding of why life tends to unfold the way it does.
But do homo the standards to see whether they're homo you or you're serving them. Knowing you are receptive will give them homo to homo up in a new way. A homo needs a basic homo of cognitive homo before the opposite sex will consider him.
The Law states that your thoughts and feelings manifest into your reality. Could this help to explain the mystery of dating? If the law is true, then why does trying too hard reduce attractiveness? In this way of thinking, it would seem logical to assume that if a person has strong thoughts and feelings for someone else, then they would attract the other person into their life by trying; but just the opposite seems to happen. And what about intelligence? The Law of Subtlety One piece of wisdom that has helped me immensely in my life is the idea that the difference between success and failure in life is often subtle.
If it were more clear, then many more people would choose success.